Aiyo confusing...

Ssssupppp guys!?

Life's been soooooooo............... meaningless here in TTSS. School life is fun but when it comes to study you suffer.

I've spent most of my time on music within these few months seriously. Haven't been really studying since the last day of exam last term. Even though I'm sitting in the class quietly facing the teacher in front but my mind is still hanging somewhere in De Notes. Where Teddy was still standing in front of me teaching me how to play "Misty". Where Shaun taught me how to play the conga. Where Kevin showed me our coming-soon BIG BIG LARGE HUGE WIDE studio.

Yeah to be honest my mind's still lingering at the place where I had my best memory. I'm not getting good results from my tests recently. Account has been hard and shit. It jumbles up your mind then you go crazy about it and feeling hopeless and that's where you learn to cut yourself with a knife.

Have been watching youtube with my half-dead laptop here it'll have its 8th birthday soon. How old... And when I see Arthur Kam moving those lightning fast hands I just feel like cutting myself=.=


And he is 17 too =O!!!!!

Okay my confessions here I just fall in love with the sax so hard that I actually practice less on my drumset even though I have the time. Not to say that I've lost my passion towards the drums. It's just that I'm now currently in a Jazz-period so... yeah you know...

Of course I'm looking forward to my new house. I'm gonna move into it real soon. Like... soon lah... I'm gonna have my own jamming room and I promise to God/myself/parents that I will go full force from there =) On both instruments. AND THEORY =(

My sister came and gone back so quickly. Well she recommended me to go Singapore for music instead of Australia. Oh kay this is so confusing. I love AU so much that I wanna go there for further studies. But my sister has told me that Sing is better than AU in music so.... WTH

Feel so useless sometimes. I don't focus on my studies(although I get good results hehe=) I rather persue my career in music but I don't have a direction. I'm totally lost. Will I be able to earn money and live when I grow up being as a musician? Will I enjoy my life? Will I regret? Will I suffer from failures? Will I succeed? It's so risky...

AHHHH cut it off!!!

Frustrated

Maybe studying in TTSS wasn't a good choice at first if I had chosen to pursue my career in music.

YEAH. You just heard that. I said MUSIC.

Surprised? I was surprised too when I just made my decision. Since I'm kinda regret that I didn't go to science stream at first so now I won't let my chance slip away again.

So some of you would say: Yeah Fed it's a good choice since it's what you love... Yeah if it is something you love it would be easy blah blah...

I mean... seriously... it's not as easy as you thought.

I just came back from De Notes. Shaun asked me to play a drum solo on the drumset. And...I screwed up =(
My mind was completely blank. Blackout. How am I supposed to play to impress people. Well of course I did develop some grooves but it wasn't so impressive. There were lacking of tempo and accent and dynamics and groove etc and I didn't play so well :( It just wasn't the typical me. DISAPPOINTMENT

I really wanted to practice more after Shaun left but I didn't have enough time. I could hardly even touch my drumset in a week. Damn SPM! I don't have time! I need a few more extra hours each day to improve!

To tell the truth doing a drum solo(or any other instruments solo) isn't an easy job. We musicians know that but not for the rest of the people. They expect more. So they would think: Oh kay... So the drummer of the De Notes student band could only do this? This much? Woah you suck big time man. OKAY cut the shit off...

I swear to God that I'm gonna spend 90% of my time on my music after this year if I choose not to take any Pre-U. I seriously wouldn't wanna pursue my career on stuff which I don't like. I'm not impressed of myself succeeding in something which I don't have the passion towards.

I'm the kind of person who rather earn less and enjoy more in what I'm doing. I could have less salary next time being a drum teacher(example) but I would surely enjoy every minute of being one. I just feel proud and glad whenever I contribute on something I love. I would work my ass off for that groove or a correct long sax note.

So FYI I will be staying here for another year after SPM either A levels(for guarantee lah) or locking myself inside my jamming room for more torturing(my new house yay!). By 2011 you should see me no more in KK. I'll probably be at AIM(Australian Institute of Music).

So y'all better make a move too. Think of what you wanna study. What you're good at. Which path is the one you're passionate about. Which course you think you could manage the best. So if you wanna study MUSIC. Mark my word, THINK AGAIN. That'll help a lot but of course most of all...
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DON'T EVER REGRET!